Erroneous Thoughts

Thirty.

2012-01-12T21:42:00.002-05:00

Of course a day into being thirty and I don't feel any different. I should know that. I have not felt much different after any other birthday, but for some reason I guess there is this big new expectation for entering a new decade of my life that it may feel a little different.
I thought about writing a blog based on good ole Tim McGraw's song, "My Next Thirty Years." But the more and more I thought about it I had a hard time coming up with specific things I want to do in my next thirty years. Yes, I mean don't get me wrong, there are some....enjoy Emily, have more children (the number is debatable, but not up to me, but God.), visit more places, grow more in my walk with Christ, love more, be a better friend, etc.
But I don't have I guess a bucketlist type thing for my next thirty years. I love new things and opportunities and want to seize them as they come. But the more I thought about it, I realized maybe I am more content where I am. And in that contentment I have less of a need to plan and look for more to do.
Now don't get me wrong...I am human. I envy. I look at things and the way others are and want it. But I feel that God is really growing me in my contentment. This has been a prayer of mine for a while. And of course there is room for more growth...but I am thankful for where I am compared to where I have been. I had a friend recently ask me how I seem so calm and I seem to have a lot to do and in my life. I guess that is part of it. I am more content and don't feel the need to do as much or be as much as I used to be. This new role of mother has taken over and it is the best role I have ever had, and most time consuming. But in it is more contentment than I have ever seemed to know before. So if in my next thirty years I continue to grow in that, it will be even more of a blessing.

Ten Months Old.

2012-01-02T21:11:00.003-05:00

Age: Ten months

Weight: Hopefully working on 15 or more...no doc visit til a year old. We need to get a scale...or fix the one we have.

Length: Unsure

Health: She has been healthy. She still does not have any teeth, but is much crankier at times. Others say they felt a tooth, but now I don't. So hopefully some teeth are on the way.

Size clothes: Still mostly six month old clothes.

Size diapers: Size 2.

Eat: She eats pretty much everything. She LOVES cheerios like nothing I have ever seen. The only things she can't have at this point are seafood, peanuts, honey, etc.

Sleeps: Still all night.

Disposition: She's getting a little more clingy to mommy at times.

Loves: Ben, our cat. Her face lights up whenever she sees him. She tries to grab his tail and he runs off.

Doesn’t like: Having her nose wiped, or being still.

Milestones: She has started walking with her walking toy. She also held her own bottle a few times.

Smiles when: She gets Cheerios.

Recent trips: Spartanburg and Charleston for Christmas..and had her first hotel stay.

New Year...New Moves

2012-01-01T19:20:00.002-05:00

Happy 2012. Crazy huh? We had an amazing 2011 so I don't even know what could top it. But I am grateful to serve a God who knows what it will be like and good or bad will be there holding us. I have seen a lot of posts from friends on facebook that are ready for a new year. And I admit I have been there in other years, such as the year I lost my dad and then soon after my grandfather. But I don't know if it is getting older or what, but I am not as quick to want to say goodbye to the years and move on. I cannot wait to see how Emily will grow and experience all the new things with her that she will do this year. She will turn 1! I will turn 30..and there will be some suprises I am sure. But I am so thankful for all that we were blessed with in 2011: new jobs, new house, precious baby girl, new cars, and new friends. We were able to grow with some old friends and reconnect too. And I know none of that would be possible without a Savior that loves us and provides for our every need. I hope that if you are reading this, you know that same peace that we do from having a relationship with Him. If not, I pray that it happens for you this year. Life is short and we never know what can happen, so please don't take it for granted and go another day without knowing what really matters in this life.

I also wanted to share Emily has decided to start using her toy and is attempting to walk. She started off the new year with some new moves.

A whole new world....

2011-12-30T14:17:00.002-05:00

Since the arrival of Emily, Paul and I don't watch as much television as we used to. We just don't have time. And it seems that when we do watch something it's a DVD series or something like it rather than cable. So...we have decided to try out Google TV and get rid of cable. GASP. I know ..I find it scary too.
Our main concern is sports. But luckily we bought the Blu Ray player and have been able to stuff off of ESPN.com. That was our big concern...but just in case we are waiting until after the bowl games to cancel the cable all together.:)
Now I am not gonna lie. I am going to miss my trashy reality TV..but am just going to have to find it on Netflix. I will not be able to Keep Up with the Kardashians, but I think Paul will be happy about that. But every penny counts with a baby and when we don't watch it enough for the price, we thought we needed to give this a try.
It has been really funny to watch us try and figure out the Google TV. It is definitely the most techy thing we have now. I will admit, I love having Facebook up on our big screen. But hopefully I won't get addicted to doing that and it suck even more time out of me. So we will see how it goes and here's hoping it's a good experience and one we don't regret.

Christmas miracle.

2011-12-23T16:48:00.001-05:00

I saw this article today and got so excited. I do not know this family but met many of the families who were impacted by the tsunami. I know that many families are still looking for loved ones. I know that many will not return home like this girl. I spent time where she is from, so it hits a little closer to home for me. But I am thankful for her and her family to be reunited.

Christmas miracle.

St. Nick

2011-12-18T14:01:00.003-05:00

So for weeks I had been thinking about when we could take Emily to meet Santa. Paul had drill the weekend before and I had gotten emails saying he was going to be several different places. So of course we had to wait and not go then. Daddy had to be there for the first Santa experience.
So this weekend I planned that we would go to the mall after Paul got off work and before his work Christmas party. But that morning I went to the gym and then to Bilo to pick up stuff for Paul to make macaroni and cheese for the party. When I walk in lo and behold Santa is there. And not some mangey cheap looking one..a real good looking St. Nick sitting in a chair greeting customers. I asked how long he would be there and he said until 4. I let him know that I would be back later that day with a little girl excited to meet him.
I mean how great was this?!?!? No fighting mall traffic. No waiting in line. No paying $20 for one picture when I could take my own. Now don't get me wrong...I am sure we will do it at some point, but for a situation when we weren't sure that she would even sit with him..this was perfect.
So I headed home....and later Paul, my mom, brother, and I all went with Emily on her first visit with Santa! She did well. She was not scared or intimidated at all. She was just mainly checking him out. So it was a great experience all in all. We will be looking for him again in less than a week:)

Big Talker.

2011-12-12T19:32:00.000-05:00

Emily is so much more chatty these days. I tried to get what I could tonight on this video. She talks more than this even!

Nine Months!

2011-12-08T22:44:00.002-05:00

Age: Nine months

Weight: 14 lbs 9 oz

Length: 26.2 Inches

Health: She has been healthy lately..fingers crossed as we move further into winter.

Size clothes: Mostly six months now. There are a few big 3 month old things we can still make work...and then she is in some 9 month old clothes that are smaller.

Size diapers: Size 2.

Eat: What doesn't she eat now? Emily thinks that she needs to eat whatever is on our plates now too. She has started eating things in bigger pieces and we are not putting vegetables to be pureed anymore...just cutting them up in bits.

Sleeps: All night long but has been getting up at 5:30 recently...what happened to 7 am? But I will say she goes back to sleep most of the time after a bottle that early.

Disposition: Happy and silly.

Loves: Being out and about!

Doesn’t like: Being left alone and not having everyone's attention..hoping we don't have a diva in the making.

Milestones: She is now crawling and pulling up! She also can feed herself pieces of food now from a plate.

Smiles when: Mommy and Daddy kiss. (Not sure why..but it makes her smile.)

Recent trips: Charlotte for Connor's baptism, Aunt Robin's for Thanksgiving, Charleston, the park to swing, out to eat several places, the grocery store.

Important stuff

2011-12-06T19:21:00.002-05:00

The ironic thing was I had been thinking of how to document things I want Emily to know. I had been mulling over a post in my head to blog. And frankly it will still come. I have been thinking a lot about the things I want her to know my heart as she gets old and want to make sure she knows them as she grows up. But then this was posted as someone's facebook status tonight and it brought many tears to my eyes as I read it. Of course I am going to leave it up and have Paul read it. I often think of the kind of relationship I want them to have. However I often have to take a step back and pray. I have to realize that what I am missing most as I think of Emily and her daddy is the relationship I often did not have with my father. I wanted a lot more than I was given at times and of course I want even more for my little girl. One of the many reasons I married Paul was I knew he would be an amazing father and fill the role to the best of his ability. He will not be perfect and will have to ask for forgiveness from Emily at times I am sure. But I know he will try. And that effort is what makes so much difference. Anyways this is a sweet tear jerker and good summary of things I want for my little girl.

http://lifetoheryears.com/50rules

2011-12-02T20:58:00.002-05:00

My little girl is nine months old! Hard to believe. We got to the doctor next week..so I will post stats and more updates then. But this is such a fun age even though she is getting into everything. Taking her pictures each month is getting harder now that she is mobile! But I will keep trying to document her growth..this momma will not give up!

Thanksgiving Highlights.

2011-11-27T16:59:00.003-05:00

It has been a great week. Paul and I have been off..which makes it even better. But it has also been a good time of relaxing and hanging out with loved ones. We got to see Paul's family last weekend in Charleston and then my dad's side for Thanksgiving. Emily has gotten lots of attention! We also got to see a lot of good friends. I love the holidays and that we get to catch up with so many people. Emily's first Thanksgiving meal consisted of mashed potatoes and green beans. She had a good one and loved all the attention. She also loved having Ava come over to watch the Carolina Clemson game with her. It has been good to reflect this month each day on all the things I am thankful for on facebook and realize that there are too many blessings to count!

Recent videos.

2011-11-12T17:25:00.002-05:00

Welcome to the house of germs

2011-11-07T13:09:00.002-05:00

I would venture to say that we have been sick almost a week now. It was last Tuesday night that I was sitting at Bible study and starting feeling horrible. Just in the middle, my head felt weird, I felt clammy, etc. And then I went home and went to bed. That does not happen ever. But I did...and then the next day I stayed home from work and slept for most of the day. My body must have sensed what was coming.

Because the next day I felt better, but Emily did not. She was beyond fussy and I knew she would not make it through the day at daycare like that. So that started our bout of colds and whatever else we have had. Now let me go back and mention that Emily had been sick longer than that and the Thursday before we had to get her early from daycare to go to the doc. And she had a cold...we were told to keep doing the humidifier, do some Benadryl, vapor rub etc.

Well here we are too much time later and still doing it. And I can barely talk today at work. My voice goes in and out. I definitely feel like I needed another day to rest, but being out three days last week did not allow for that. One was for Emily and two were for me.

And to top it off, Emily is uncontrollably fussy last night. She didn't go to bed until 10 when she is normally asleep a little after 7. Just when I think she is getting better, here comes this new beast of a cry out of her that is inconsolable. She then woke up again at 1:30 and screamed to the point where I thought we were going to have to go to the ER to get checked out to make sure nothing was about to burst in her. She finally calmed down an hour or so later and went to sleep, but kept waking up here and there throughout the night.

I feel like this is my first real bout with motherhood. When I say that, I mean otherwise I think we have had it pretty good. But man..this one...these colds, whatever Emily was doing last night...has kicked our tail. Paul tries to help when he can but there are often times Emily only wants me now. So yeah that's sweet..but it means no sleep for me, not daddy. It has definitely made me question whether I can do it a few times this week and brought me to my knees. I now appreciate my mother so so much more for all she had to do for me...as I know this is just the beginning not the end. But it has also brought me to my knees and made me pray much more this week. So I guess you could say something good has come out of it all.:)

And she's mobile.....

2011-11-05T16:28:00.001-04:00

Sweetness

2011-11-03T14:54:00.002-04:00

Last Friday I came home to these with a sweet note that was thanking me for all I do for him and Emily. But I am pretty sure my favorite part is that Paul put them in my Clemson vase...(which really isn't a vase, but my college roommates will get that joke)

Eight Months Old

2011-11-02T22:21:00.002-04:00

Age: Eight months

Weight: 14 lbs 2 oz at the doc last week

Length: Not sure

Health: She has been battling a cold for a while now..but other than that cant complain.

Size clothes:3-6 months

Size diapers: Size 2.

Eat: She has added strawberry yogurt and is bigger bottles. It is mostly formula now as I can't keep up. I still pump at night for in the morning and one bottle partially for day care. She is moving into the world of finger foods with grapes, peas, cheerios, etc. She tried a piece of pretzel and croissant while out and about. She pretty much wants everything on our plates.

Sleeps: All night long!

Disposition: Happy except when mom leaves.

Loves: Beatboxing with Daddy, clapping, playing peekaboo.
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Doesn’t like: Having her diaper and clothes changed. She apparently is Miss Independent and does not like losing control of the situation.

Milestones: She is so close to really crawling. She has a few steps but then gets tired and sit down. She is clapping and waving.

Smiles when: she sees our cat, she sees mom or dad, when she hears music.

Recent trips: Zoo for Halloween, First long mall shoppping trip with Decken family, Car show, Copper River, and Target

Partnering

2011-10-27T22:45:00.003-04:00

I have been doing a bible study with some ladies from Grace Church. The study, Ezer, has been a challenging one in many ways. It is about how as women we are designed by God to invite, nurture, and partner and how those roles also become corrupted.
I often come home and tell Paul that I am thankful for him after attending the study. This is often because the women in the group share of struggles in their marriages and previous marriages. They say the things we are learning are things they wished they had known when they got married. Now don't get me wrong, I am learning too. But I tell Paul that I am thankful that we were prepared. I know we can never be prepared enough...but I often think that we were intentional and sorted through a lot before getting married.
This week we talked about partnering and how it is coming together for a common mission or goal. Well as of lately, our common mission and goal has been raising Emily Claire Kornahrens. But it made me think of our partnering in that goal has been a beautiful thing and brought us together as even more of a team. We are able to see each others strengths and allow each other to do those things in our daily tasks. We compliment each other's weaknesses. I laugh as I think about how my afternoon and evening consist of Emily and all that she entails, while my husband comes home and cooks dinner. I always joke and tell him he is such a good wife:) But in all seriousness I don't know what I would do without his partnership and his ability to come along side me and do this daily life thing well.:)

Untechnological.

2011-10-23T22:03:00.002-04:00

I know that may not technically be a word. But it is how I often feel in regards to all the gizmos and gadgets that are constantly in front of me.

I will admit...we may be some of the few people who don't have internet on our phones. We have Ipod shuffles, but only because we run. We do have computers and a DVD player, but that's about our extent.

Recently we got a new TV and I was just hoping the other day that I could get it to the point where we could watch the movie I had put in.

When did I lose touch? I used to know about most things..but then technology boomed too fast for me I guess. I don't have a smart phone. I don't know how to use those scan things on a smart phone. I don't have the video games on my phone that are constantly being played by everyone you see everywhere you are.

And you know what? I am ok with it. I don't think there is anything wrong with it. And more power to you for keeping up. But I just don't feel the need. I liked my Bible that is falling apart today in church, when everyone around me seemed to be pulling up the text on their phones. I like turning the pages, being able to write in it. I will probably never own a Kindle either. I think it's amazing to have that many books in such a small space. But I can't see myself with one.

I just purchased Emily some toys for Christmas and purposely picked some out that did not light up or talk. I don't want her to be over stimulated. (That comes from working with autistic kids.)But I just want her to have some simple things too.

I know myself and know that I can get caught up in too much of the stuff at times. But for now, I'll take not being technological savy and using my internet free phone and paperback books and Bible.

Adoption

2011-10-20T12:03:00.001-04:00

I found this post on a blog through a friend of a friend. It really captures a good view of adoption and false expectations that can come along with it. Like anything our expectations can be a huge downfall in starting a new endeavor. I agreed with so much he had to say, especially working with so many kids in foster care or "orphans." My heart still has a huge place for those kids who are abandoned, abused, etc. I work with some on a daily basis still through my job. I still am not sure what God has planned otherwise as I have always had a heart for adoption. But that is where I continue to pray and wait and see.

http://www.russellmoore.com/2011/10/12/dont-adopt/

Seven Month Update.

2011-10-11T10:45:00.002-04:00

Age: Seven months

Weight: 13 lbs. 9 oz.

Length: Not sure

Health: Everything is still looking good..a few snotty noses here and there..but nothing major.

Size clothes: It depends on the clothes. There are brands in which she can still wear newborn stuff, while there are others which are six months old! Her first Halloween costume was supposed to be for up to six months and it was too small. There is no consistency with her clothes...just like our clothes..it all depends on how it is made.

Size diapers: Size 2.

Eat: She has added broccoli and peach yogurt. However she is so interested in food. She looks at our plates now and tries to get whatever we are eating. She still eats like a newborn on the bottles...every three hours. But lately she has been eating a lot less due to being more interested in food. The pediatrician said we need to try and up it to 5 oz and get as much as we can in there and cut back on food if necessary.

Sleeps: She sleeps from 7 to 7!

Disposition: She is a happy baby most of the time. She is making funny new noises and laughs at herself when she does. She just started trying to sing with her elephant and us this weekend to "You are my Sunshine." It warms my heart. She is becoming a momma's girl and fusses if I don't hold her now sometimes. If I leave the room she gets upset. I hope this doesn't get too bad...I want her to be independent (but I also love that she wants me:))

Loves: Her jumper for the door. She gets in it every morning as we get ready in the bathroom. She also loves Dave Barnes, "God gave me You." I think I played it a lot when pregnant and she smiles so big when it comes on and starts rocking.

Doesn’t like: Momma leaving her sometimes.

Milestones: She is scooting backwards and is in the position to crawl! She is still standing up and will take some steps with some guidance and help.

Smiles when: she sees momma or daddy. When she gets kisses and when you blow on her stomach.

Recent trips: Columbia to stay with Aunt Kay and Uncle Clay on game day so we could go to the football game. She did really well at Olive Garden and let me eat a whole meal while out with my mom. She also had her first trip to Babies R Us and rode in the cart and loved it.

Seven Months Old!

2011-10-03T21:58:00.002-04:00

As you can see...this picture thing for each month may be getting a little more complicated to complete! Emily is so interested in everything that literally the only way I could get a picture was to help her stand up. She cannot do it on her own..but she is so determined and can pull herself up all by herself and just needs some assistance staying up.
We go back next week to get the second flu shot at the pediatrician. I am hoping they will weigh her if I ask. She has to be over 13 lbs now. I still often am told she cannot be as old as she is and small as she is. But Emily Claire is not letting her size hold her back. She is scooting and pulling up. I need her to slow down!

Resemblance?

2011-09-23T13:03:00.002-04:00

It makes me laugh that depending on who is holding Emily, that is who she looks like. When it's me people say, "Oh she looks just like you." Or if people know Paul we get, "She is a little Paul." But I found this picture and compared. I still think she's a mix, but I can definitely see me in her in this!
I am going to get my mom to bring more..and get some of Paul this weekend and there will be more to compare later on!

Baby Blues

2011-09-13T21:54:00.002-04:00

Look at those baby blue jeans on Miss Emily! They are the real deal with zipper and button fly and all. Her teachers said she had a hard time sitting in them that day as they are as stiff as real jeans and she is not used to that. When I put them on her, I had to pick her up and shimmy them on. I looked at her and said, "Emmy..better get used to having to get jeans on like this...it'll be this way for the rest of your life."

And yes..she is trying to stand up and hold on to the coffee table. Grown up stuff I tell ya.

So fitting....

2011-09-12T22:24:00.003-04:00

Here we have Emily in the perfect onesie for her. My precious friend from grad school, Kiki sent this to us a few weeks ago. It is perfect.

It says, "I may be little but to Jesus I am big stuff!"

Amen!

Six month update.

2011-09-08T19:56:00.005-04:00

Age: Six months

Weight: 12 lbs. 10 oz.

Length: 24.8 inches

Health: Everything is still looking good..praise the Lord!

Size clothes: She is in three month old clothes....some of them are 3-6 months.

Size diapers: Officially in Size 2.

Eat: She is a baby food pro now. As far as vegetables, she has had carrots, green beans, sweet peas, sweet potatoes, and zucchinni. She has had bananas, apples, pears, peaches, strawberries, plums, and mangos. I may have forgotten something, but she is not crazy about carrots or mangos but will eat them. The child loves some green beans, peaches, and bananas. She is up to 3/4 a cup of rice cereal now. She has become such a good little eater!

Sleeps: I think she is sleeping through the night now. She has been doing from 7 pm til almost 6 in the am!

Disposition: She is so fun. She is in a happy mood most of the time now and is so much more animated and interested in everything!

Loves: When her daddy comes home and puts her high in the air and flies her like an airplane. She also loves her new exersaucer and rubber ducky tub.

Doesn’t like: Still not a fan of the nose wiping!

Milestones: She is sitting up! She also can pull herself up if she holds your hand and stands up.

Smiles when: Her parents do anything dumb to make her laugh.

Recent trips: Target! Grandmommy's house, Copper River Grill, the Park near our house, church more frequently, Charlotte to meet Connor, Columbia to the hospital to meet Corely!

Don't wanna jinx it......

2011-09-07T15:00:00.002-04:00

but I think we may have a baby that sleeps through the night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She has not done it a full week at a time, but has had definite spurts where she has slept almost 12 hours! Last night she slept from 7 PM until 6:50 AM with no wake up calls. Praise the Lord in Heaven above. It only took over six months. When other parents would tell us their babies slept through the night early on, I would cringe with envy. Why wouldn't our little one follow suit? Well then I would have to tell myself that our little Emmy bean was smaller than the other babies. Her stomach won't hold as much food, so she has to wake up more often for food. I would give myself the list of rationalizations to make myself feel better. I think the crying out method really did help ...because once we felt as if she were older and could handle going without the food we tried it. It was hard at first...so hard. Hearing your baby cry..being awake for an hour of screaming when it would only take 15 minutes to go feed her and make her stop. But we pushed through. And so far it seems to have helped. Now granted she was off schedule this weekend with family guests in town...but since then she seems to have gotten back on track. I just pray it continues....our little girl needs her sleep. And so do her mommy and daddy.

Half a year!

2011-09-06T20:32:00.001-04:00

Emily Claire Kornahrens turned six months old on Friday, Sept. 2. We go this week and will have updates on weight and such after our doctor visit. How in the world did time go by this fast?

Sick Leave

2011-09-01T13:18:00.000-04:00

I am one of the fortunate people who have been healthy most of my life. Never been in the hospital until Emily...never broken a bone...never had stitches..never had surgery until Emily. But since becoming pregnant and having Emily I feel like more has happened to me healthwise than ever before. And don't get me wrong..none of it has been anything that major..but still it has happened more and more. For instance, I initially got a UTI when pregnant...never had that. I had preeclampsia and had to have Emily early. And now I am pretty sure I have had mastitis. Even though when I called the doctor today, I was told they thought my milk was just drying up? Really? Is that why I have had a fever, chills, headaches, and felt like death for two days? I don't think so. So I decided to take my friend Laura up on her all natural suggestions for it because I meet more of the criteria for mastitis than not. The garlic and orange juice have been awful. I am feeling more nauseated than anything now. But I am hoping it works and I can make it back to work tomorrow. Fingers crossed because I have never felt this bad in my life nor missed this much work in a long time. I have had some great friend support through all this and for that I am so very thankful. But anytime the health issues related to being pregnant or breastfeeding wanna stop...they definitely can! But Emily Claire is definitely worth it..and most importantly at least I can hold her again now!

Keeping up with the Joneses..Baby Style

2011-08-29T10:03:00.003-04:00

Ever since I began registering for Emily, I have seen how much stuff there is out there for new moms and babies. I mean it is completely overwhelming. I remember feeling unsure that I could do it, the first time I stepped into Buy Buy Baby. It was just too much.

Well in registering there are those things that people say you just have to have! And can I just say that we still have not used two of the more expensive items on that list? They are just sitting in the closest and we have yet to use them. I am thinking we will, but part of me thinks that if we have not after six months..will we?

One of those is our video baby monitors. Now I know several of you mothers probably just gasped as you read this. But our house is set up where we can hear Emily from any room. And to be honest, I have felt safe with her up there sleeping and not felt the need to monitor her every move. The sad thing is that mess was expensive and now I am wondering if we can return it. Also I wonder if we still will use it. But I felt like I had to have it.

The other thing that sits in the closet still is the Baby Bjorn. We have not been anywhere at this point where we have needed it. I know that too may come later, but Emily is so small that I am hoping we can use it for a little longer than some other people may be able to. But again, it was not cheap...we got it as a present. But still not cheap.

All this to say, that even now as she grows, there are things that initially I think, "Oh she needs that." Does she really? Or is it my need to keep up with the latest baby trends? Granted I wanted Emily to have what she needs to grow and thrive..but at this point, I think a lot of the baby products are too much. I mean we all survived without all the bells and whistles they have now.

All this is coming from a mother who has been for a few weeks researching and looking to see whether to get Emily an exersaucer, bouncer, or walker. They are not cheap either and there are varying opinions on each. But the other night as we were at church, I saw that they have bouncers and exersaucers. And I thought about how they have them at daycare. And I thought to myself..."You know maybe that is enough...maybe she can just use them there." Because in reality we hold her or play with her most of the time when we are home. So I gave myself permission to take a pass on this and quit trying to keep up with the Baby Joneses!

Rubber ducky.....

2011-08-25T21:52:00.000-04:00

You're the one...You make bath time lots of fun.

Emily loves her new tub. It is so fun to watch her play in it. I would like to thank Munchkin for making one of the cutest tubs ever!

Look who is sitting up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-08-21T15:51:00.004-04:00

In reality, I feel like she has been kinda doing it for a while. I think one of the things with your first child is you wonder is this it? Does this count? I mean she's kinda sitting up for a few seconds but then falls to one side or back. But today she did it for at least a couple of minutes and played her drums. So I say that it's official. But I am telling you..sometimes I think she's doing stuff before she may be cause I just think my little girl is exceptional and all:) So don't rain on this proud momma's parade. But I would bet to say that she is officially sitting up. I will get her teachers tomorrow to see if they agree.

Five Months Old

2011-08-03T21:32:00.002-04:00

Age: Five months

Weight: I think at least 11 lbs now...we will find out when we go back for six month check up

Length: Hopefully longer than 23.3 inches

Health: No problems!

Size clothes: I have packed up more newborn clothes and she is mostly in 3 month clothes now!

Size diapers: Size 1 for most part, but has been put in a 2 here and there!

Eat: She has started eating baby food! Emily has had carrots, green beans, sweet potatoes, and bananas so far. She has liked them all for the most part, but loves some bananas the most. She also started rice cereal and downs it now. She is still eating every 3 hours and having breast milk. But at times I can't keep up and have started mixing half formula/half breast milk.

Sleeps: Still not sleeping all night! She is waking up once or twice still. We keep praying!

Disposition: She is so much more animated and is happy most of the time unless she is not being paid enough attention or is hungry.

Loves: Her elephant that sings "You are my sunshine." It can always get her to stop crying.

Doesn’t like: Having her nose or eyes wiped.

Milestones: She is really trying to sit up. She can sit for a few seconds before falling over.

Smiles when: She is tickled.

Recent trips: Jocelyn's pool, grandmommy's house, Wellspring Treasures in Spartanburg

Not good at keeping this up....

2011-07-31T19:57:00.002-04:00

It has been a while. I thought maybe I would be better at blogging with Emily in order for this to be like her baby book and keep up with all the changes.

And I think that is what keeps me from the blog and so busy. There seem to be constant changes. Just when I think I get a routine down...something with Emily changes. And that is to be expected and it's a good thing. But it definitely keeps me on my toes.

I have also had summer camp with kids I work with. Monday through Thursday my camp partner, a fellow therapist, and I go each morning to pick up the kids and doing various social activities while working on appropriate communication and social interactions. We have done a month of girls and a month of boys. We have two weeks left with girls. School starts soon after. If I am honest, I am excited about school starting back and feel like it will be a break. Camp has taken a lot. Monday through Thursday it feels like this is my day:

6:45 AM- Get up and pump
7:00 AM- Get ready and get Emily ready, including all her stuff for daycare.
7:50 AM- Drop Emily off.
8:25 AM- Get to work, check emails and return voicemails.
9 AM- Go pick up kids and camp begins.
4:30 PM (this time varies depending on camp day) Go home to pump
5PM- Go pick up Emily and spend time with her.
5:30 PM- Feed Emily her baby food
6:00 PM- Clean bottles and get all her stuff ready for daycare next day
(Some days fix dinner in here, other days Paul does it.)
6:30 PM- Feed Emily her bottle, give her a bath some of the days.
7:00 PM- Get Emily down.
7:30 PM- Eat dinner and clean up.
8:30PM- Work on clinicial notes for day at camp.
10 PM- Go take a shower.
10:30- Pump.
11PM- Go to bed.

That's a rough schedule. It varies often. And somewhere in there I try to spend time with my husband. So yes I am ready for school to be back in when my schedule will look a little different. I included some picks of Emily started to eat food! It is crazy to me how fast she is already growing. So you see maybe why it has been a little harder to keep up with the blog!

Four months.

2011-07-07T21:34:00.002-04:00

Age: Four months

Weight: 10 lbs 9 oz.

Length: 23.3 inches

Health: She has started having more snot this week than ever before..but other than that the child has been healthy! Praise the Lord.

Size clothes: Depends on how things are made...she can wear some newborn, some 0-3 months, and some three months.

Size diapers: Size 1

Eat: She is still eating between 3-4 oz every 3-4 hours. We were just told today to start with the rice cereal and introducing vegetable baby food.

Sleeps: Just when we thought she had it down....she was sleeping starting at seven...waking up once about 3 and then sleeping til 6 or so. But within the last week she wakes up as much as when she was a newborn. Most of the time if you put her pacifier in she will go right back to sleep. We think she is beginning to teeth.

Disposition: Most of the time her mood is much happier. She smiles so big and is cooing. However the last week has had more fussy times due to possible teething.

Loves: Her bunny lovey now.

Doesn’t like: Having her nose wiped.

Milestones: Emily can sit in her boppy like seat now. She grasps her toys and reachs for them.

Smiles when: She is talked to most of the time now.

Recent trips: Pediatrician today, Charleston for the 4th of July, Charlotte to visit Weston and Allison and go to Connor's baby shower, Aunt LaRae's pool in Charleston, and our friend Heather's pool.

Growing up....

2011-06-26T21:05:00.002-04:00

Now I know Emily will only be four months old next week, but I am telling you it seems like she is growing up every second. She is so much more animated. And it is so fun because it seems like she shows us something new everyday.

The picture above was her this weekend showing me she could hold up her own book. I am just amazed at how quickly she is doing new stuff. I know there will be lots more and it will continue to amaze me.

I am thankful for weekends like this one where I am able to spend the whole time with her. We had lots of visitors but the only time I was away from her was when we went to church, and it was there that I experienced the first page to go get her ever. My heart sunk when I saw the number, and as I walked up I tried to prepare myself for what could be wrong. And I hear her crying, but then as they hand her to me she smiles at me with the biggest grin. And it is then that I realize my child knew exactly what she was doing.

Just like today when she had a poop explosion all over me. She heard me frantically trying to figure out how to get her clean and myself clean without getting it all on the couch. Then as she is upstairs on the changing table, she lets out a laugh. Not just a smile...but a laugh...a giggle ..as if she knew again what she had done. These are not good signs for me and her daddy if she is already being mischevious:)

When did I become my mother?

2011-06-17T11:55:00.002-04:00

This question went through my head on several occassions this week. And I know what most of you reading this may be thinking. Well you are either laughing because you have had these moments or are thinking I am mentioning this in relation to being a mother. But ironically I am not.

This week was the second week of camp for my mental health clients. And yes I work with middle school and we have had all girls for this month. And these are girls who are 13 going on thinking they are fully grown. No surprises there. I have worked with enough adolescents to expect all that.

But what I did not expect was the abundance of comments saying that my coworker and I are old. Mollie and I are the same age. Not even 30 yet! And we were told lots of times this week that we were old. Several times we got reactions of the head shaking and "Oh Miss Erin" or "Oh Miss Mollie" that result from the "Are you kidding me? You are so lame that I can't even put it into words" thoughts of a teenager.

But aren't those reserved for moms? I myself did it often to my own mother. I thought she was beyond lame at that age. I thought I knew more than she did and it took me quite a few years to realize that I knew nothing and she knew everything. (I do apologize to her for that all the time.)

But when did I become that mom? I have a newborn..so I am not there with my own daughter. But apparently at the age of 29...I have achieved the not cool status with my teenage girls. (Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying that I was ever super cool to begin with, but my status has decreased apparently.)

So Mollie and I have decided to just embrace it. We quite apologizing for being ourselves and making jokes that they don't think is funny. We actually now do it to get a reaction from them. And I knew this day would come...I just did not think it would be this soon..and not with other people's children. Lord help us. It may be a very long summer!

Three months!

2011-06-02T16:43:00.002-04:00

Age: Three months

Weight: We aren't sure because she does not go back until after 4 months to the doc. But we are hoping for 10 lbs!

Length: Again not sure!

Health: I think my poor little Emmy bean may have allergies. She has had goopy eye boogers in both eyes on and off. She has been sneezing and fighting it right along side her mom.

Size clothes: She has made it to some three month old clothes!

Size diapers: Size 1!

Eat: She is still eating between 3-4 oz every 3-4 hours.

Sleeps: Emily is not consistent, but she has slept an eight hour span now..just not the time we would want. One night she slept from 7 PM-3 AM. She is able to go about 5-6 hours now and then wakes up once during the night and wakes up again around 7 AM.

Disposition: She is happy throughout the day and fussy at night. She has started daycare this week and is happy all day there and fusses for her mom when she gets home. Boo on that one.

Loves: People saying hey to her and making faces. She is also loving being held up while you are standing.

Doesn’t like: Having her nails clipped. (still not a fan of that one.)

Milestones: Emily can roll over both ways now. In fact she keeps rolling from her back to her stomach and waking herself up at night.

Smiles when: She wakes up and when you say silly things and make silly noises.

Recent trips: She has started daycare. She has been to Charleston and Columbia a few more times.

Made it.

2011-05-31T20:23:00.003-04:00

We made it through our first day of daycare that is. I was dreading this day. I have been back at work since April 13. But it was different going to work knowing that I was leaving Emily with her daddy.

The day went much smoother than I had anticipated. And they said she did well. I was worried about it because at times she can tend to be fussy. And especially since she had been in Charleston this weekend for Memorial Day she out of her routine.

But when I walked in this afternoon,she was sitting in the swing and smiled at me as I approached her. I am sure the day did not phase her. It was much harder for me.

But we made it. My nights have to be a lot more regimented in order to get everything ready and loaded for in the morning. It is a new routine. But Emily seems oblivious...and well for now I will take that! She seems to have adjusted well her first day here's to making it through the rest of her first week.

Seven years!

2011-05-19T15:04:00.002-04:00

I have had this blog seven years! What in the world?!?! It does not seem that long, but it has been. I began it when I graduated college at Winthrop and was just moving to Columbia to begin my new life of graduate school there. I can't even begin to describe all the changes that have happened in those seven years. But oh wait, the blog does. I really do need to look into getting one of those books made from my blog.

Every now and then I go back and read old ones to see what was going on exactly at certain points in my life. I am thankful to have so many life changing experiences captured on here. And while the readers may have come and gone, I have kept it more for myself. I have always found it to be therapeutic to write out my thoughts and feelings. And I guess my hope is that someone else may have benefited from those thoughts and feelings along the way.

My husband makes fun of me for my little intro to the side over there...but it's amazing that it went from " A simple 22 year old single lady" to "A simple 29 year old married lady who is a new mother" in those seven years. And I am most thankful for the last part that says the stuff about messing up each day and God's grace covering it. That is definitely the story of my last seven years and I pray that it continues to be throughout my life.

Not by accident

2011-05-15T23:22:00.002-04:00

Yesterday I received news that a brother in Christ had died suddenly in a drowning accident in Puerto Rico. Rick Velilla went to be with the Lord. He is home now.

My heart instantly hurt for his wife, Marie. I have always affectionately called her Mama V as that was what everyone in the youth group at my church in Columbia called her. Rick and Mama V were a very big part of what made that church experience so amazing and wonderful. To see their love for the Lord, each other, and their children was a true testimony to what God was doing in their lives. Each of their boys are also testimonies to God's faithfulness and their trust in the Lord to give them wisdom as they parent. Obviously you can see I think highly of the family.

Now I saw them frequenly when I lived in Columbia. But since then, I had only seen them last at my wedding in November 2008 as we asked Rick to dj our reception and work the music. It had been over two years since I had seen this sweet couple.

Well not by accident, God arranged a time for me to be able to hang out with both of them over two weeks ago. I had started selling thirtyone and being the amazing woman that she is, Marie wanted to help me out. I was excited for the opportunity to hang out with them. I went early to eat dinner with them and after the party ended up staying two hours just catching up with them. They were so transparent in discussing some of the things they had been going through. But even in the midst of their struggles, their faith was rock solid. It seeped through and was evident as they shared with me.

That evening I left their house feeling love. I had been able to catch up with old friends and fellow believers that I love dearly. We were able catch up on life and rejoice in the good and the bad together.

With Rick's sudden passing, I cannot begin to tell you how much more thankful I am for that night now. The picture above was taken from that night as we laughed. I don't even remember what we laughed about, but I remember laughing a lot with Rick over the years. I remember having deep and solid conversations about the Lord that were challenging with him. I remember laughing really hard and a lot with him as well. That's a rare and special combination to have in a friend, the ability to be challenged, encouraged, and laugh!

Lord I am so thankful that after two years I was able to spend quality time with Rick just weeks before he went to be with you. It was not by accident and I am eternally greatful for it.

First Mother's Day

2011-05-09T22:55:00.002-04:00

This weekend was a busy one. Lots going on and lots of important things going on! I celebrated my first Mother's Day thanks to Emily Claire Kornahrens. I don't know exactly what it takes to feel like a mother. I saw lots of cute posts on facebook about things that mean you are a mother. And I have done a lot of them now..like had a baby lay on my chest....had a baby spit up on me, etc. But it still seems so surreal.

Also because I was more concerned in getting ready for my mom and Paul's mom, I did not focus on the day for me as much. I am used to doing Mother's Day for other people. It was kinda surreal to have it include me this year. But Emily gave me a precious silver keychain with her birthstones decorating little baby shoes with her nickname and birthdate engraved on them. She did good! (Paul said he caught her with his credit card.) It was a great day to celebrate being a first time mom and those moms in our lives.

Two Month Updates

2011-05-06T21:53:00.003-04:00

Age: Two months

Weight: 8 lbs 6 oz.

Length: 21.5 inches

Health: Everything looks good. She has a small indentation on her head where her skull is still forming that we were told we need to just make sure she has more tummy time to keep some pressure off that head.

Size clothes: I have boxed her some of her first outfits that were premie sized. She is able to wear most of the newborn clothes except the ones from Target.

Size diapers: Still in the newborn size

Eat: She eats between 3-4 oz every 3-4 hours.

Sleeps: Emily wakes up twice a night once asleep. It seems like she has somewhat of a pattern of going to bed around midnight, waking up at 3 am and then 6 am right now. She goes back to sleep after and sleeps more so mom can go back to sleep.

Disposition: She is becoming happier and not quite as fussy most of the time. I am welcoming it with open arms.

Loves: Her daddy making silly noises and singing to her.

Doesn’t like: Having her nails clipped.

Milestones: Emily has rolled over at about six weeks old! She has done it a few times..so it was not a fluke!

Smiles when: Mostly at her daddy when he is being dumb.

Recent trips: Since last month she has been to Charleston and Columbia! She has also been to the mall, Home Depot, and Lowe's.

I think he said it well....

2011-05-04T11:48:00.003-04:00

With all of the events since May 1, 2011 about Bin Laden's death, it has really gotten me thinking and processing as we counselors like to say. I was able to have a good conversation with my dear friend who is in the military about her view on it. I appreciate that because she gets a lot more of this first hand and has served and seen the devastation that all the war and fighting from these decisions and missions can cause. My view on this situation is impacted by many things. My role as a Christian first and foremost creates my view. Then there is my role as an American. And then now a mother. And then even a counselor. There are so many ways to feel and view about this whole thing. But like I said I pray that my view as a Christian is at the forefront and I pray for the courage to stand up for what I believe and even more so pray for those who may not believe the same things I do.

I really liked this blog post about the whole ordeal. He took a lot of my own thoughts and said them in such a similiar way to what I was thinking. So check it out.

Bin Ladden Died a long time ago.

Two Months Old

2011-05-02T18:59:00.001-04:00

Emily Claire Kornahrens is two months old today. Hard to believe but at the same time it feels like she has always been here now. Can't imagine our lives without her. She goes to the doctor on Thursday..so I will post her updates after that and she gets more shots. So glad Paul is taking her and not me!

Over it.

2011-04-25T22:24:00.002-04:00

I am over it. What you may ask? Well folks I am completely over all the William and Kate hype. I have been for a while. In fact, I can't wait for April 29th...and yes I know the date, but only because hopefully then we won't have to hear about it nonstop.

I mean there are rings for sale that look like her engagement rings, commemorative mugs, figurines of the happy couple, and way more. Why?!?!

Don't get me wrong. I think it's great they are getting married and fully support it. I love the instituation of marriage and all it stands for. But is this really what it was intended for? To have every detail blasted on Enews?!?!? To have three..yes count them three receptions?

Why are people so fascinated with this wedding? My mom said there was a lot of hype about Princess Dianna's wedding, but nothing like this. Of course back then there was not as media avenues to feed into the obsession. No internet, no trash news shows, etc.

I just can't help but wonder how they feel about all this. I mean they have a movie already out about them. And granted I know he is royalty..but have other princes had this much hype about their wedding made?

Ok I am done ranting..but again I will say I will be thankful when all this hype over their wedding is behind us. Please and thank you.

Lots of firsts.....

2011-04-17T22:53:00.003-04:00

Since I last posted I feel like there have been lots of new things for Emily.

Today we had our first trip to the mall. She did great and slept most of the time and even let me find a dress. (I am not fitting into most of my skinny clothes and dresses are the best in between while I start to try to get some baby weight off.)

While at the mall Emily also had her first elevator ride. I now realize how I will have to map out my mall trips looking for those when I have the little one and the stroller with me.

She also rode in the Camry for the first time today. We have only had her in the Blazer thus far, but Paul took that to Charleston this weekend. So before he left I had to make sure he put the other car seat in the Camry.

Also in exciting news, Emily rolled over this week. I didn't believe it at first as I was sitting and talking to my mom. It had to be a fluke. But she did it again several more times with me, Paul, and my mom watching. It was on my mom's birthday..so she said she got an extra special present getting to see that. Of course I looked it up and the earliest I saw that children roll over was 8 weeks. Most said it would happen between 2-3 months. Emily rolled over at six weeks and one day old. What in the world?!?! I hope she continues to be a prodigy like that. So proud of my little girl..but then again it means shes growing up fast.

Here is the link to the video on my facebook page. Check it out.
Emily rolling.

Injustice

2011-04-07T21:04:00.002-04:00

My heart has always gone out to those who hurt. I hate injustice. I have always felt that God hates it too and it is one of the few times it is ok to hate. Last night we watched The Boy in Striped Pajamas. And it really got me thinking.

Now for starters there is so much to say about the topic of the Holocaust and the inhumane and unspeakably cruel things that were done to those vicitms. And my life's work thus far has greatly involved working with victims and helping them to overcome the hurt and trauma they have experienced. My heart always hurts for those who hurt. Paul always looks over at me during these types of movies because he knows without a shadow of a doubt that tears will be running down my face.

But something hurts a little different now that I have Emily. I have never been able to understand how parents can hurt their children. I have never been able to stand seeing people hurt who cannot defend themselves and what makes it worse is when it is so senseless. But now with Emily, my heart hurts way more with these injustices.

My heart knows a new kind of love that it never has. It makes me even more sensitive to the pain that someone's child is going through. It also makes me worried a bit about going back to work. I deal with some tough cases. I hear some horrible things. And with all these post pregnancy hormones and this new sense of even more emotion at injustice, going back to work next week may be even tougher than I ever thought.

1 Month

2011-04-04T10:55:00.002-04:00

Age: One month

Weight: 6 lbs 14 oz...(that was over a pound in two weeks..yeah!)

Length: 19.25 inches

Health: Doc said everything looked great:)

Size clothes: Emily is finally able to wear some of her newborn clothes. The ones from Target are too big, but the Carter new borns are wearable. She even has one bunny outfit that is a premie that she cannot wear now. She has outgrown her first outfit.

Size diapers: Still in the newborn size

Eat: Around 2.5 ounces every 2-3 hours..but today the pediatrician said we can go up to 3 ounces for her.

Sleeps: Emily wakes up twice a night once asleep. It seems like she has somewhat of a pattern of going to bed around midnight, waking up at 3 am and then 6 am right now. She goes back to sleep after and sleeps more so mom can go back to sleep.

Disposition: When she is not sleeping, she is not happy when she is not swaddled.

Loves: Being swaddled and riding in her stroller.

Doesn’t like: Having her diaper changed.

Milestones: Emily can hold the tiny bottles up by herself for a few seconds.

Smiles when: She is about to fall asleep.

Recent trips: Pediatrician's office, Daycare to see it, Spartanburg to Joy Joy's house. I have an upcoming play date at Ava's house and my first big road trip to Charleston this weekend.

Star of the blog

2011-03-30T19:23:00.003-04:00

Well it is true. The blog has been taken over by an adorable little girl named Emily. Much of the focus will most likely now be on her. Most entries will be about her. In May, I will have had this blog seven years. Isn't that crazy? It has seen me through some pretty monumental milestones: grad school, death of my father, death of my grandfather, two mission trips to indonesia, dating and marrying Paul, first few years of marriage, pregnancy, and now life as a mom.

So yes....most entries will focus on this new and most important new priority. Thanks to Joce for providing the bib.

Time

2011-03-29T15:06:00.002-04:00

Time is such a weird thing. Well in reality it always has been. Sometimes it seems to drag on and at others times it flies by. Tomorrow Emily will be 4 weeks old. Of course then we don't say she is a month old until April 2. Why is that? Aren't there 4 weeks in a month? And then it is funny to me how once a kid is year old...we don't say they are a year old and some months. We say they are 16 months...18 months...even 24 months...not two. Like I have said before..this new mom is in the midst of trying to figure a lot of these things out.

But what amazes me more than anything is how fast this time with Emily has gone by. It literally feels like yesterday we brought her home. Yet that was almost 4 weeks ago. Then at other times, especially during the middle of the night, it seems like forever until she will go to sleep again. Why is time so weird? Why does it fly by when you don't want it to and drags on when you wish it would hurry?

I always remember my mom saying that time flies by even more when you are older. And she used to always say, "Wait until you have kids and then you will really see how fast it flies."

Well I don't like it. I don't like that I have just about two weeks left to stay home with her. I don't like that it has gone by so fast. So time..right now I am not a fan of you.

March 23

2011-03-23T15:58:00.002-04:00

For 9 months I keep thinking of this day as the mark for when I would meet my little girl. Of course, for more than half of that time I did not know she was even a girl. But I knew that around this day is when I would get to meet Baby Korn.

Well God had other plans, and Emily came 21 days before her due date on March 2. So that means today we have had the privilege and joy of havingher for 21 days longer than we thought. So today instead of celebrating a new baby, we are celebrating that we have had a baby for three weeks.

In these three weeks she has changed our lives forever. I cannot imagine my life without her. Most of the time I still feel like I have no idea what I am doing and am just trying to take it moment by moment.

In these three weeks I have had little sleep. I have not slept this little in my whole life. And I am not going to lie, I wake up not loving it when she is crying. But then I hold her and somehow make it through the day and it all seems alright.

In these three weeks, I have seen Paul become completely wrapped around her finger. I have seen him flourish into this new person and amazing father. I love to watch him look at her and know that she has his heart completely.

In these three weeks, we have been blessed with lots of help from family and friends. I am blessed to have so many amazing people in my life, but even more so Emily will be blessed to have them in hers.

In these three weeks, I have seen my life completely change. I have become a mother. I have fumbled at the process. I have felt inadequate. But then I see that little smile and it is all worth it.

So all that to say, I am thankful for these three unexpected weeks of wonderful. That is a line from Steel Magnolias. Shelby says, "I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special." And I am thankful to have had three weeks of wonderful so far..and looking forward to much much more.

Thirty One

2011-03-22T23:19:00.002-04:00

I have signed up. I am officially a Thirty One Consultant. I have had two parties thus far and am working on building up the business. But I wanted to share a little bit about why I finally decided to do it. I had been to several parties and had several products from there. I debated becoming a consultant for a while over the last year or so. It seemed like a great organization and fun. But would it work for me? Could I really do well at this? I hate bothering people and obviously at times you are going to feel like you are doing that to book parties and make sales.

But then the freeze came. And that was really what decided it for me. So many consultants signed up in the last bit that they put a freeze on anyone else signing up for a while. This is what ultimately was my push because who knew when they would let people sign up again.

There were several other factors in my decision as well. Obviously I prayed about it but did not feel like I had a clear answer until the freeze came. I also had taken somewhat of a pay cut to move up to Greenville. I had a baby on the way. And as any parent knows there are lots of new expenses that come with that. I also had moved to an area where I knew lots of people from growing up but would need to reconnect and meet new people. So I thought the parties would be a great way to do that.

Therefore I signed up. I am still learning and praying that this will be a prosperous decision in many ways. I do not just want it to be financially prosperous, but that it may also make my walk with the Lord and faith in Him prosperous as well as my relationships with other women around me.

So if you read this and are willing to host a party or want to order something...here is my website:
www.mythirtyone.com/erinkorn
I appreciate any help as without all of you, I could not do this.

Also here is a little of what is behind Thirtyone from the website and what brings it all home to me:

The name Thirty-One comes from the verses of Proverbs 31. These words may be thousands of years old, but I am constantly amazed by how today's modern woman can relate to them. Don't we all want to be strong, dignified and wise? The Proverbs 31 woman is dearly loved and respected by him and her children, yet she is an individual in her own right. She manages the home and property with kindness and integrity. Her savvy business skills are partly brought about by her desire to serve others, to do good deeds and prosper. I knew women just like this, and I wanted to find a way for every woman to be recognized for who they are and for their hard work!

Ground Hog Day

2011-03-19T00:22:00.002-04:00

That title and movie seem to describe my life best right now. I feel like each day is a repeat of many of the same actions. I get little sleep, pump milk, feed Emily, change Emily, rock Emily, and do laundry. Each day pretty much seems the same. However each day I also feel like I am trying to figure out what I am doing on the fly as I am doing it. But again with little going out, the days can tend to run together.

Now don't get me wrong. I would not trade this for anything. I know when April 13 comes and I have to go back to work, it is going to kill me. Even though I know Paul will be here and home with her. It brings tears to my eyes even thinking about leaving her.

Sometimes I feel as if I am getting a routine down. While at other times, I wonder if I will ever get the hang of this. My gut tells me that as soon as we do get some sort of routine down, it will change with her daddy her and me not.

Today I looked at Emily and realized she looked different than just a mere two weeks ago. I realized that she looked bigger and older. I wonder how many more of these moments I will have as I have a feeling she will be constantly changing.

I am sitting writing this at 12:30 AM as I wait to feed Emily again. I have not mastered the advice of so many people yet to sleep when she sleeps. Today is the first time I have been able to take a nap in the afternoon when she did. And I will admit, it was amazing and one of the best naps I have ever had. I think that is due to it being so needed. I try to sleep in the mornings when she will sleep, but otherwise I still need to get better at sleeping when she does.

When it's not you......

2011-03-15T21:39:00.002-04:00

Today we went to the pediatrician for a weight check. All week I had been hoping and praying for an increase in weight. When I prayed, I asked God to let Emily gain the weight she needs to have in order to be healthy and happy. When we got there, it turns out she had gained 9 ounces. So now she weighs 5 lbs. 11 oz. This was the news I had been hoping for. She had not only met her birth weight but had exceeded it by two ounces. All that waking up and feeding had paid off.

Later in the day I get a call from the pediatrician's office. It was one of the nurses letting me know that Emily had an abnormality in some of the results from her tests at the hospital. My mind immediately starts racing and my heart sinks.

The well intending and nice nurse actually freaked me out more than she helped. She started constantly reassuring me and telling me how she knew I was going to worry. Her attemps actually made me feel worse.

She explained that she had little information but that there was an abnormality in her tests and that it could possibly mean she has trouble processing fatty acids. She explained that the pediatrician did not seem overly concerned and that they felt it was most likely a false positive. But that I needed to take Emily back to the hospital tomorrow to have the test done again and then wait until the results came back in about two weeks.

She called the hospital and then called me back to let me know where to go. She explained that in the rare chance that Emily did have an abnormality, the worse case scenario would be that we have to change and monitor her diet.

Paul was not home when she called. He was at the gym. So as I waited for him, my mind began to race about how to explain it to him. I was frustrated that I have to take her tomorrow when he was off today and could have gone with me. I tried to reassure myself and not worry. However the tears came.

I know there is ultimately nothing I can do about it. I know I need to pray and trust that God has plans for her. That verse is above her crib and I know it to be true. But I have already realized that when it comes to her, I hate thinking about any pain for her. I dread even taking her tomorrow and having her get her heel stuck again. At least in the hospital I did not have to see it.

It already amazes me how sensitive my heart is to my little girl. It hasn't even been two weeks and I already become emotional at the slightest thought of anything being wrong. But again tonight I was reminded of Phillipians 4:6, which says,

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition , with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

This verse hit me when things hit and I found out that I had preeclampsia and would be having Emily early. I am finding more and more that this verse may need to be my motherhood verse. I have a feeling I will need to cling to this verse many times throughout the years.

So for now, I am trying to pray instead of worrying and hoping for the best as we head back to St. Francis tomorrow!

One week.

2011-03-13T18:35:00.002-04:00

Emily is almost a week and a half old now. So I am already falling behind in posting about it. But we had a few computer problems and could not get online with the computer that we post pictures with. But luckily thanks to our friend, Weston, we are all set now.

I am not posting a picture every week..but do want to take one every month. But I figured the first week is significant.

She is already becoming more and more alert. She is eating more and I think gaining weight. We need our little munckin to grow. Emily has met lots of people over the last week and half and still has a lot of amazing people to meet. She is one lucky girl.

She has had both her grandmothers here over the last week. Fortunately for me, both grandmothers were willing to stay up with her at night a few times.

This week marks my first one doing it all on my own. So we will see how it goes:)

One Day Old Pictures

2011-03-11T18:17:00.001-05:00

These are the pictures from a photographer at the hospital. I do believe she has already changed from these. I am going to need time to slow down.

1 week old

2011-03-09T17:17:00.003-05:00

Age: 1 Week

Weight: 5 lb. 2 oz.

Length: 17.8 inches

Health: Good...needs to keep gaining weight:)

Size clothes: Premie...Newborn is too big!

Size diapers: Newborn

Eat: Mostly breastmilk from bottle...we are working on breastfeeding and latching.

Sleeps: Trying to figure out days and nights. She sleeps a lot during the day, pretty much only waking up to eat.

Disposition: Very calm and sweet.

Loves: Being swaddled.

Doesn’t like: Having her diaper changed.

Milestones: I think she has started smiling, even if itsjust gas...I will take it cause it's so cute.

Smiles when: Not sure..but I love it when she does.

Recent trips: Doctor for one week check up.

Little Bunny FuFu

2011-03-08T16:53:00.003-05:00

I think of that song when I look at her in this bunny outfit. She actually has gotten a lot of bunny stuff. It may be because she is born close to Easter...but I hope she likes bunnies because she has quite a few cute bunny things.

We ventured out for the first time today to her doctor's appointment. She looks good and has gained some weight since being at the hospital. She needs to keep eating and gaining though. We go back next week for another weight check. Emily weighed in today at 5 lbs 2 oz. She had lost weight since being born, which the doctor said is typical, but with her being so small I just want her to keep gaining weight.

The feeding thing can seem overwhelming at times. In the hospital Emily did not do so well with breastfeeding from me. She would latch on, but then stop and go to sleep. I think maybe because she was early, she does not have the sucking process down fully. But luckily I have been able to pump and get her the milk that way. But I tell you what, I understand completely why people don't do it. It is exhausting. I feel as if I am always feeding or pumping. Hoping that process will get easier as I want to be able to keep giving Emily what she needs.

I cannot believe she will be a week old tomorrow. She is sleeping somewhat during the night but seems to enjoy sleeping more throughout the day. Also hoping she gets that squared away. I am thankful to have had my mother in law here to help and my mom is coming tomorrow. So Emily is blessed with two grandmothers to help and love on her.

I love the faces she makes as in the picture above. They crack me up.I also love her baby breath and little baby kisses. She is pretty awesome and at times I still look at her and can't believe she is actually here!

Emily Claire Kornahrens

2011-03-05T21:33:00.002-05:00

She was born at 12:32 PM, weighing 5 lbs. 9 oz and measured at 18.5 inches long.

We are in love and so thankful for this little blessing.

Twas the Night before....

2011-03-01T21:25:00.002-05:00

Emily's Arrival and I still cannot wrap my mind around it.

Monday I got a call from the doctor's office saying that they had gotten my bloodwork back and that I needed to come in that day. I had an appointment scheduled for Tuesday, but they wanted me in that day. The nurse said, we are probably going to have to induce. I said, "How soon?" She said, "Within the next day or two."

What?!?!?! Emily wasn't due for 3 more weeks. This was not what I expected.

I got a bit overwhelmed...called Paul and headed to the doc. She came in and said that I definitely had pre-eclampsia and that they needed to induce. I told her that Emily was breech last week. She then checked with another ultrasound and our little one was still heads up. So then she says, "Well then we will do a C section."

So here we are, the night before she is set to arrive via C section. I am somewhat nervous, but because I don't know what to expect I think I spend more time trying to fathom what tomorrow will bring.

I can't even imagine any of it. I will get to meet my little girl tomorrow. See her face in person..not just on an ultrasound. Get to hold her. Hear her cry. It blows my mind.

So tonight I am praying for everything to go smoothly and trusting God's hand in all of it. He knew that she was coming March 2. It was not a suprise to Him. And for that I am so thankful, even though we are still trying to get over the suprise:)

Pulling my weight....

2011-02-21T11:55:00.003-05:00

I am realizing just how hard it is for me to be still. I have not been told I have to sit or be on bed rest or anything. But I am feeling the latter stages of pregnancy much much more.

My hands are swollen. My joints hurt. I went to the gym the other day and walked on the treadmill for about 40 minutes. That was not the best decision. I was amazed to think about how uncomfortable I am now and how quickly it has seemed to come. I have been pretty fortunate until now...and in reality I still think I am. But 36 weeks is coming up on Wednesday and it is hard to imagine another 4 or more weeks of this. But I want Miss Emily to cook for as long as she can.

All this to say, I am realizing just how hard it is for me to be still. Paul has been doing the majority of the cleaning today and it is hard for me to sit and let him do it. But then I realize I can't even do simple things that I used to do. He looked at me and said, "Sit down, why are you so hard on yourself? You don't have to do this...let me do it."

Why is that so hard for me? I feel like I need to pull my weight (which is way heavier now and much harder to pull.) Maybe it's a control thing. But I don't like sitting by and having other people do things that I feel like I should be doing. Obviously God is trying to teach me something here. Maybe it is something that I have to sit still enough to hear, huh?

In other news, my friend Liv had her little girl Ava Grace Davis yesterday. We are goin to meet her today and I cannot wait. It makes it all the more real to me that Emily is on her way. Liv has been exactly 4 weeks ahead of me this whole time and now Ava is here! I can't wait for all the fun times that are coming with these two precious little girls.

Nursery:Complete

2011-02-13T21:11:00.002-05:00

I almost did not put that title on the blog. Because I almost feel like if I do..it is premature and we are going to have to do something else to the nursery...but let's just say that the bulk of the stuff is done. Finished. Finito!

Paul and I worked this weekend on completing the hanging of stuff...which one of the things was the verse Jeremiah 29:11 on the wall. Never ever did we think that putting a verse up could be so complicated. But it was surely a feat for Paul and me and took both of us and a lot of patience. Ironicallly the verse was not about patience specifically, but then in reality it is. We may know God has plans for us..and a future..but we don't always get to see the outcome as soon as we would like. We have to patient. And let me tell you what...putting that verse up took a lot of patience. But hopefully it will be as meaningful to Emily as it has been to me in my life.

The picture above is of our cat Ben. He apparently thinks that he has gained a new bed. I hate to tell him that he will have to give it up once Emily comes along and wants to be in there.

Also in other news, I have signed up to sell Thirtyone products. I will have to write another blog soon as to what made this decision for me. But in the meantime check out my website www.mythirtyone.com/erinkorn and let me know if you want anything or want to book a party. They are fun and pressure free. I promise!

Which Church?!?!

2011-02-06T21:50:00.003-05:00

Paul and I moved to Greenville in October. In my head, we would have hopefully found a church by now. I mean it is February...and well doesn't God know we have a baby on the way in less than 45 days?

Are you kidding me? Of course He knows. But in reality I have been struggling with where we are supposed to be. And by impatience says we need a church now. I don't know why it feels so hard to know. We have been visiting two on a consistent basis.
They are different yet similiar.

It also feels very different when looking at churches and trying to think long term and include our future children in the decision. One church has an abundance of children's programs..which is a plus it seems. I grew up in the church with tons of opportunities and I want that same deal for my kids. But I don't want them to get overloaded with programs and not get the relationship aspect of their faith. I don't want them to merely go through motions and be about checklists.

The other church while it doesnt have as many children's things is more like what I am used to. The layout and music is similiar to the last few churches. For whatever reason we seem to always want to go back to that one. But I don't want to pick it out of comfort, but out of it being where God wants us to be.

Sometimes I feel like God may just be saying..."Just pick one..both are good." But of course I want that clear cut sign. I want the angels to sing over the one we need to be at next time we drive up. But for now I will keep praying and seeking God in this and hoping to have a church family sometime soon...for us and our growth...and our little Emily on the way! Prayers appreciated.

Lessons learned from one of my moms

2011-02-01T20:49:00.002-05:00

Working in the field of mental health, I get to meet lots of interesting people. And I get to meet lots of interesting parents. I have met some really good ones. I have met some horrible ones. And I have met many who are doing the best they can.

However recently I was having a family session with with a mother and daughter who are on completely different pages. You can tell they both love each other, but don't know how to express it. They are both grieving a situation completely differently and it is causing such separation between them.

My role has been to try to get them communicating in appropriate and healthy ways. It is amazing that it often takes a third party to get you to say what you need to say to those you love. It is amazing that so often we need a guide to say hard things that we would rather avoid. It is amazing to me that so often what we need to say is so simple.

Well this meeting got me thinking about my future relationship with my soon to be born daughter. What hit me the most was the mother's constant discussion of God. She obviously has been immersed in the Christian world and claims to be a follower of Christ. Almost every other word that comes out of her mouth is about God. She has been through a lot and looks to Him for her strength and to keep her where she needs to be.

Now don't get me wrong, all of these things are good. And I believe in much of the same things she is preaching. But that was just it. She was preaching so much so that she was not willing to listen to her daughter. She was so consumed in her black and white view of how things have to be, that she could not step outside into the gray to meet her daughter. That is what kept getting to me.

Her daughter sat there and said she did not know that she wanted to be a Christian. She seemed annoyed by mother's talk of God. And her mother continued to keep going, quoting scripture and refusing to do some activities with her daughter because she felt they would pull her down.

I love God and believe He is the only way. I believe that God sent his Son and that we were saved by grace and through nothing we did we are accepted and adopted for eternity if we are willing to follow and have a new life. And I want with my whole heart for Emily Claire Kornahrens to believe that as well.

However I cannot help but think that if I take the approach of merely preaching and not showing her the love she will not get it. I need to accept that she may not take the path I want her to take...but that each person has to take their own journey to find their relationship with God. My prayer is that she can feel and see the love that God exudes through me. I pray too that she will see that I don't just speak words, but that my words and my actions will be a guide that lead her closer to her Creator for eternity.

I pray that I lead her to Christ, rather than away from it. And I am praying this for that mother and daughter as well that I will not be seeing on a regular basis anymore.

Military Wife

2011-01-24T22:23:00.003-05:00

This time last year Paul was in Mississippi for a much longer time period, but this year he is in Charleston for a week doing a week of active duty. While it is much less time, it felt as if he was leaving for that long period again when he was packing up. I really don't know how military wives do it. I know you have to do what you have to do, but it must be so hard. I admire those that I love that have sent their husbands off to serve. My friend Jess spent most of her pregnancy without her husband. My sister in law is taking care of the twins right now without Paul's brother as he is overseas. And I am sure there are others that I am missing...but my respect for them and their husbands and their marriages has grown immensely.

While Paul is doing military stuff, even if just short term, I am thankful for the support I have. I have been able to reconnect with several friends recently since moving back up here. I am so very thankful to have friends that I can see and pick back up with and thankful it does not feel weird.

This past weekend I went to a shower for Liv and Ava. It has been such a neat experience being only 4 weeks behind one of my friends and getting to experience so much of the new experiences together. Above is a picture from her shower. It is of some long time friends and some friends in training. Also above is a picture of the ribbon trees I created from an idea from a coworker for Emily's nursery. I am pretty excited about them!

Taking It On......

2011-01-18T22:03:00.003-05:00

Tomorrow marks 31 weeks for me and Emily. It is hard to believe that she will be here so soon. In fact when the teacher at the birthing class last night stated that a baby would be good as long as it came anytime between 37-42 weeks that would be normal, I can't lie and say that did not freak me out just a bit to think that she could come in as little as six weeks. I know that is probably not the reality..but still a possibility. I could be wrong..but I have a feeling little Miss Emily will be late....that she will keep us waiting and come into this world when she is good and ready. But in reality that is fine as long as she is healthy, happy, and has longer to cook in the oven.

I went back to the doctor today and received the good news that I passed my 3 hour glucose test. I have to admit that I was a little more nervous about than I let on. When I failed the 1 hour one I became upset. Even though logically I knew it was not definite that something was wrong or that I had gestational diabetes...it hit me harder than I expected. I usually can handle things and think pretty rationally about situations. But I can already tell when it comes to Emily Claire, things are going to be different and have more of an impact. I got upset just because I want everything to be alright with her.

I remember my mom used to tell me that she wished she could take away my sickness or pain whenever they happened. I never ever understood that. Why would she want to hurt? I mean I know she hated seeing me hurt..but to take on that?I didn't have a clue. But I think I am starting to get it now...Emily is already teaching me tons and she hasn't even been born yet. Can we even imagine how much I will learn in her lifetime? Exciting and scary at the same time.

And it is done.....

2011-01-12T20:55:00.003-05:00

Well you would think with several days home due to the weather I would have blogged before now. But I have been staying pretty busy with house stuff. I took the opportunity of having three days at home to work on many house things in general. We did some work on the nursery and the bonus room...meaning it is becoming the sports room. Neither are complete..but we made some significant progress.

We also did register. And let me tell you what. I am glad it is done with. I don't think I did it perfectly..but is there really a way to do it perfectly? I have no idea what kind of bottles she will take to..or pacifiers for that matter. But it is done and we are officially registered at Target and Babies R Us.

The experience wore me out..but I was determined to get it done that day. We went both places and finished in a decent amount of time. I am pretty sure my favorite part was seeing all the husbands or baby's fathers lingering behind the moms looking miserable. There quite a few sitting in the rocking chairs probably wondering if the time could go any slower. And Paul several times said, "See I am not the only one."

I received a lot of advice from many people about the products and I appreciated it. However I know that we are going to have to see what works best for Emily and take it from there. But another possibly overwhelming step is done.

And might I mention that she will be here in about 10 weeks? How crazy is that?

Calling All Moms.....

2011-01-04T23:05:00.003-05:00

Well the time has come. Paul and I are going to register for baby stuff this weekend. And well to be honest it seems completely overwhelming...much more so than registering for the wedding. And to be honest, that at the time was somewhat overwhelming. So I thought I would ask for the advice of all you mothers and ask what some of the must have items were for your registries and what you could have done without. There seems to be so much out there..and yes we want our little girl to have everything she needs and some luxuries...but if we don't need it or it's not practical...I don't want to waste our time. So any advice is much appreciated. I am sure there will be a blog about the experience afterwards.:)

28 weeks.......

2011-01-03T22:41:00.002-05:00

So for us 28 weeks meant another ultrasound to make sure that little Emily's femurs were growing appropriately. When we had our first ultrasound, they said her legs were a litle short and that they would want to measure again at 28 weeks.

So now we know that her legs look ok. Granted she is still measuring a little short..but neither Paul nor I are giants...so we feel ok about it. I mean my grandmother is 4'11"...so Emily didn't have much of a shot anyways. But she can be fun-sized instead of short.

But things looked good and it was completely incredible to see how much she has changed since we saw her last. She has chubby little cheeks...from my side of course...and big pouty lips..which she gets from her daddy. It is crazy to think that we will get to meet this little one in less than 3 months now. We continue to pray for her growth and development and trust that the God who knows her while in my womb is creating her in His perfect image. That very fact still blows my mind...that I have a little piece of a miracle that God is creating inside of me. I do not know how anyone can have a baby and not sense something much bigger than themselves. It is a whole new way that the Father is drawing me closer to Him and I cannot wait to see how this journey with my daughter continues to give me a better understanding of His love and who He is.

First White Christmas

2010-12-28T22:26:00.002-05:00

Well it has been a few days since Christmas and there has been time to recover and recooperate. And I say that because being pregnant put a whole new dimmension into having the family over and having Christmas at our house. I don't think I realized how tired I was until after everyone left on Sunday. Then the tiredness set in.

But it was so exciting to get to see snow for the first time on Christmas! It started snowing after my mom's side of the family left and when the second side arrived it was sticking and started icing up. So essentially the Sanders side ate and then had to head back but I was thankful for the little bit of time we got to spend together.

It was great to have everyone come to our house and see it. I was excited to show it off and admittedly may have been a little more anal than usual about things looking good. But it must have because everyone liked it and said it looked like we had been there more than two weeks. I was able to get one of my grandmothers upstairs to see the house and the nursery, etc. The other two couldn't make it up..but I was thankful they were able to come period. You never know how many Christmases we will have left all together.

It was also the first combined Christmas for the Kornahrens and Sanders/Poston side. It went well and everyone chipped in bringing side dishes while Paul made some homemade fried chicken. It was neat to have everyone together and think about all these people who will love and care for this precious baby in my tummy.

It was our last Christmas without a child. We had people tell us to enjoy it. And I know it is true and I did cherish the time..but honestly I can't wait to see how much more exciting Christmas is through the eyes of a child. I looked at Paul at one point and said, "You realize this is our last Christmas not doing Santa Claus for a long time right?" We laughed but I know there is a part of me that cannot wait for all the Christmases of getting up early to see that excitenment in her little face. I can't wait to see her play with her nativity set that I got this year and tell her the real reason we celebrate Christmas.

We had a wonderful Christmas and pray that you did too and were able to focus on what matters and why we truly celebrate!

It's not really feeling a lot like Christmas....

2010-12-21T21:04:00.003-05:00

The tree is up...the stockings are hung...baby Jesus is in place. But even with all that it still does not quite feel like Christmas.

I think it is because we have been on the go so much..that there has been little time to think about Christmas being here. But this week will bring our first Christmas in our new house. It will be our first Christmas combining our families and hosting the event.

Even though it does not "feel" like Christmas, I know it is coming and real. I am often reminded of how I often feel this in my relationship with God period. I do not feel Him, but I know He is still there. I may not be engrossed with Him, but with other things but I know He is still there.

And I know whether or not I feel like Christmas is upon us, I know why it is. I am thankful that there is a reason for this season and it is not based on feelings. Lord knows my feelings are all kinds out of wack with these hormones doing their own thing these days. So I am reminded that God is not one of feelings but knowing the truth and honoring it. While I may not feel like Christmas is coming, I pray that I remember the truth and honor it, despite what I may be feeling. That may just be the toughest part:)

And we are in ........

2010-12-12T19:03:00.002-05:00

This weekend brings to a close the last few crazy months of transition. Or does it? Well it feels like it does because we actually moved in our first home! We decided in October to move up here and began looking for a house immediately and thankfully it all came together in order for us to move in before the holidays.

I am so extremely thankful as for a minute or two last week, it did not look like it may work out. But God is good and knew exactly what we needed and when we needed to be...so thank You Lord.

I am thankful for a sweet friend who came to help me get a lot of the unpacking done after moving on Friday because Paul had drill. I am thankful for family who is coming up the next weekend to help do more projects and what not. I am thankful for new furniture that is on the way this week! I am thankful to be in a house that our little girl will grow up in and have a yard to play in and lots of room to play. I am thankful!

Christmas Cards

2010-11-29T20:13:00.003-05:00

So I have never really sent out Christmas cards. But I figured it was a good time to start. Paul and I have been married two years and we have a little nugget on the way. So it seems like the perfect time to start...especially since Snapfish is giving away free cards!

And who doesn't like free? We especially like free these days with a baby on the way and a house in the near future. And it looks like Snapfish has such cute options. I have enjoyed their products for a while now.

In fact here are three links that you may want to check out for products:

Christmas photo cards to http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/christmas-photo-cards
Christmas cards to http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/christmas-cards
holiday cards to http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/holiday-cards

Any of these is a great way to start off our Christmas card tradition. I know our little girl will be gracing these cards each year for years down the road. It is crazy to think about that I am old enough to be sending out Christmas cards..but folks..it looks like it is about that time!

Not as planned.....

2010-11-23T09:42:00.002-05:00

Yesterday Paul and I celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary. It's amazing how in your head you can think things are supposed to go a certain way and then they go completely differently. I think there is a part of me that, though unrealistic, since it was our second one, it was still supposed to have that "honeymoon" appeal to it. But reality often has other plans.

First Paul had the day off, because back when he put his vacation time in at the beginning of the year he was sweet and thought it would be good to take it off since it was our annivesary and a Monday this year. Well in January, he had no idea that in November we would be living in Greenville or that we would be pregnant. He did not know he would have drill that weekend prior or that our cat Ben would need to go to the eye specialist about his eye that had been bothering him. So plans were a little different.

And I can roll with that. I mean I started a new job..so there was no way for me to take Monday off. If I had gone to Charleston with him I would not have gotten to see him much after drill and would have had to drive back Sunday night alone to work Monday. So, we decided just to do a low key celebration Monday night when he got back.

Well....then he calls me Monday and tells me that Ben has glaucoma and has to have that eye removed. I immediately start crying. He calls me at work..so luckily I did not have any kids in my office. It may be the pregnancy hormones or what not..but I was so upset. Pretty sure I have never gotten that upset about a pet before. If I am that bad with this cat, I cannot imagine how bad I will be with this baby girl.

So then I am sad throughout the day about Ben. He gets home that evening. Paul gives me such a great gift which I will have to post a picture of later. If I just write about it, you won't get the full effect. And I gave him a picture of Wrigley Field. We head out the door to head to dinner and he looks at me and says, "You have your keys right?"

Of course I don't have them and neither does he. We are locked out of our apartment. I assumed since he was driving he had his keys...and he assumed I had mine. You know what they say when you assume:) So I try not to freak out and head to a neighbor's to ask for the maintenance number. We call and now there is a new policy that will not allow them to open up apartments for people if they are locked out. WHAT?!?!
Most ridiculous thing. And oh so annoying.

So I proceed to use free information to call a locksmith. Hello money that was supposed to be for our dinner. I call and they say someone will be there in 20-25 minutes. I call back 30 minutes later and they want to know how I got this number because they do not serve Greenville. Seriously?!?!? No one could think to call and tell me that?

So then I call two more and finally maybe 2 hours later we get in our apartment, get the keys and just head to Little Ceasar's to grab a pizza as it is late. And while the night was completely frustrating, all we could do was laugh. Maybe this is preparation for when the baby comes and things not going the way we want...but it will definitely be an anniversary to remember. Hopefully our stay at Middleton Plantation on Saturday night will go a little smoother...depending on who wins the Carolina/Clemson game:)

But even with all that, I am so thankful for my husband and would not trade that time with him. There is no other person I would have rather been with even sitting out in the car waiting for two hours.

It's a......

2010-11-15T22:24:00.004-05:00

GIRL!!!!!!

We found out last week that we are having a little priss. I really thought it was going to be a boy. I am not sure why..but it just seems that so many people are having girls..that for some reason I thought that meant we were having a boy. The lady at work did the all accurate and scientific pencil test and it said it was a boy. (Please note my sarcasm in that statement.) But the day we found out, Paul and I went into a consignment shop and were greeted by the owner. He asked if we knew what we were having and I told him that we were finding out later that day. He then proceeded to tell me that he could tell me right then and there. The man asked me to stand straight and face him and he then confidentally told us, "Oh you are having a girl!" He said, " I have been doing this a while and have seen a lot of pregnant women and you are definitely carrying a girl."

Well the consignmemt shop owner was correct. But he had a 50/50 shot right? The funny thing is that I went back to work the next day and had the lady do the pencil test again without telling her what we found out and on Friday it showed it was a girl. Hmmm..there goes that accuracy:)

But it was absolutely amazing to see her moving all over the place. It was still weird to see her and not feel that much movement. I have felt her but she was going absolutely crazy..doing some gymnastics on the screen and I felt nothing. So weird:) But a good weird. She weighed about 11 oz. The best part was just as Paul and I were telling the ultrasound technician how my mother in law keeps saying that she still thinks it could be twins, Baby Girl looked dead on at the camera and literally held up a number one sign by her face. The technician got a picture of it. It was hysterical. She was sure to let us know there was only one of her in there!
That would be the first picture if you want to check out our genius in the making.

I recently saw a verse that obviously has taken on a new meaning for me.

" I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth." 3 John 1:4

I am already praying hard on this for this precious little girl. I pray that she know truth and be a beacon that shines it for all to see.

So surreal

2010-11-09T21:18:00.002-05:00

Every day I wake up knowing I am pregnant...but still I don't really think it has hit me. I will be 21 weeks tomorrow. I am definitely showing. The uncomfortableness is increasing with more bouts of heartburn and other fun stuff. It is harder to breathe. I have to push myself so hard at the gym to do not even half of the work out I used to do. I get winded going up the stairs to the 2nd floor at work. Yet I still don't really feel pregnant. Does that make any sense?

Throughout my life, each big experience has been so surreal. I really don't think things hit you until after the fact, or at least they don't hit me until then. I try so hard to enjoy each moment and not let it pass me by or take it for granted. But it is always so weird to me how life's biggest things have seemed so surreal...almost dreamlike.

We find out Thursday whether Baby K is a boy or a girl. I can't even imagine what it will feel like. I am so ready to know..but still can't imagine what it will feel like. Sometimes I get completely overwhelmed thinking about the whole thing. But again it seems so surreal. It astounds me to think that I have this little life growing inside me. That I was chosen to be this little one's mom. That I will be responsible for everything in caring for it. Those kinda things get me thinking..but then again it feels so surreal.

I am astounded at the miracle of life and that God has blessed us with this precious gift. But again...it seems so surreal. Yet I know each of my biggest moments in life have been just that...surreal. So sorry if I keep using the word, but I am just trying to express myself and work out in my own head this huge thing that is going on and that is about to change my life completely.

But stayed tuned...because the reality may set in less than 48 hours when we know the gender....we shall see.

Never know....

2010-10-31T20:04:00.003-04:00

I definitely think I have the cutest niece and nephew in the world. This picture is them at six months old on their first Halloween weekend. While they are twins, they look completely different. Already in their short six months alive, it has already been said that they each look like various people and have both changed so much.

In looking at them, it makes me wonder what our little Baby K will look like. Granted Paul and I have some similiar features such as eye color, hair color, and skin color. So it is easy to think we may know what our child will look like. But then you never can be sure...there are other genes in the pool there from both our sides.

We both had blonde hair when we were little, but my mom never did and has dark hair now. My dad had dark hair his whole life too. But my brother and I both have light brown hair and mine has some blonde and red to it. Paul's parents have more dark hair as do his sister and twin brother. So there is no way to tell exactly what little Baby K will look like exactly. But I know I can't wait to see...and see over the years how he or she will change.

"How do you say your name?"

2010-10-21T19:39:00.002-04:00

This is a question I have heard over and over the last few weeks since moving to the upstate. I was ready for it. No one up here has ever heard of a name such as Kornahrens. At least in Charleston, Paul's family was from there and had been around for a while...so at least some people knew how to say it.

But I can't say anything. I had no idea how to say it when I met Paul. But people in the upstate definitely don't have a clue. But the moments when I tell them that it rhymes with Erin are priceless. No one forgets it then and I will forever be called by my first and last name simultaneously. I can't tell you how many times I have pronounced it for people in the last few weeks and explained that it rhymed, and then explained that it was my married name and that my mother did not do that to me.

There are times when I do miss Sanders and not having to explain my last name. But again I am amazed at God's sense of humor and that He knew before time began and before I was even thought of, that I would meet a man who was my perfect mate and that my name would rhyme. And in his perfect plan, He knew that it would help people remember me and make them smile. So in that I smile as I repeat my name over and over and share with people that yes my name does in fact rhyme.

House hunting

2010-10-13T17:57:00.003-04:00

House hunting is turning out to be a lot more than I had anticipated. And the sad thing is...we have only begun. But I can already tell we are going to have a hard time finding exactly what we want. Granted this is my first time going through this process, so it should be expected to be a little overwhelming, but still anything that can be easier these days would be much appreciated.:)

We went and looked at several houses on Sunday and I was amazed at the vast amount of differences in the houses in our price range. It is evident that some people take great pride in their homes, while others could care less. It made me sad to see several of the houses that had so much potential and were probably very nice at once time.

Paul's face is easy to read when it comes to these houses. I can tell ones he doesn't like right away. He doesn't look around and will not even finish looking at the house. But that's where we differ, even if I think it won't work, I still find myself looking for potential. I am the kind of person who wants to look and find something positive. I appreciate his decisiveness, and in reality, I usually can be decisive with buying things as well. But for whatever reason, with the houses, I look for something more. I keep looking for something that will stand out and make the house have some potential.

We are meeting with a builder on Saturday. In reality, this may be the only way we agree and get all that we want in a house. And it makes sense. This is a huge purchase and we are in it for the long haul, so we might as well get what we want.

I am a little nervous about the timing of all of this with Baby K due to make its entrance in March. But I am trusting and trying not to freak out that it will all work out. I know God cares about even these details. But I do get excited about thinking about finding our home where we will raise our family.

It is amazing to think about the home where babies will take their first steps, where they will learn to ride their bikes, where they will swing, where they will go off to the first days of school, where they will have their first dates. Wow, those babies grew up fast. So while I do find this overwhelming at times, it will be well worth it to find our home:)

Talk about a whirlwind.......

2010-10-06T23:06:00.004-04:00

Well since my last blog quite a few things have changed. I have moved to Greenville. I say I have because while all Paul's stuff is up here..he is not officially up here until this weekend. He had to finish out his last week at the branch in Charleston.

I found an apartment for us and we have moved in. The process of finding the apartment was a little more overwhelming than I had planned, but thanks to some good friends it was done! We had movers come the Friday after I found the apartment and moved all of our stuff out of our first married house to Greenville. I am trying to unpack as little as possible since we plan on house hunting and buying as soon as possible.

I left my job of two years at CYDC. I was really humbled by how much was done for me. As you can see in the pictures above, there was a party with a cake. There was a lot of blue themed things, including my dress, the cake, and the punch. (Not sure what they all mean, but I think they were trying to tell me I am having a boy. We will see in November.) It was time to move on from CYDC, but I am thankful for the experience. I learned a lot in my time there. It was overwhelming and completely stressful at times, but it was rewarding on just as many occassions. As ready for the change as I thought I was, I often think of the people I worked with and the kids.

I started a new job at Greenville Mental Health. I have been doing training and shadowing this week. I will get to to go the school I will be at on Monday. I think it will be good. Everyone has been really friendly so far and I am looking forward to a new challenge.

I think that's most of the updates. I am thankful to actually get to come home now and rest. My body and Baby K need it at this point with all the chaos of the last few weeks. However even with all the change, I am thankful for consistent friends and family, and a God who never ever changes. All that is what helps me embrace all the other stuff.:)

What a weekend....

2010-09-19T22:42:00.002-04:00

Friday we went up to the Charlotte area to stay with our friends, Weston and Allison in their brand new house. It was fun to be their first house guests. And their house is amazing!

Then Saturday we all four got up to do the Run for Mercy. Originally I had planned to really train and run hard for this race, but Baby K came along and had other plans. So luckily Allison was willing to walk with me. It was a much tougher walk than we thought. The race was on a nature trail which was quite hilly. So needless to say I was panting up those hills. Not sure how I will do with running again in a few months. It is so hard to even imagine running at this point:)

I am so thankful that we did the event and had friends to do it with us. A young girl who just graduated from the Mercy home in Nashville got up and shared her story to let people know exactly what they are there for. It was so encouraging to hear a young girl who was able to get help and understand the healing power that can only come from our Jesus. It got me pumped up and my heart still longs to be there one day. After 3 years in residential care and seeing what does and does not work, I really do know that the only true transformation that is possible is that change that come from being a new creation in Christ. Even that process takes time and may not be immediate, but my whole heart believes that is truly the only way people can truly be transformed and healed from so many of the horrible things and sins that plague this world such as depression, eating disorders, trauma, etc.

After the event, we went back and took a little nap and then headed off to the USC game. I told Paul that I deserve the best wife award for not only going to the USC game and not watching the Clemson/Auburn game, but going as a tired pregnant woman. But it was fun as it was the first game my mother in law had ever been to.

Sunday, I slept so late and loved it. My body needed it..and so did Baby K. Then the packing began. And can I just say that packing with a new addition inside me tends to make it a bit harder. I am used to being able to go, go, and then go somewhere. But now I find myself having to take breaks and take things a little slower. But I packed up six boxes today and got a good start on the process. We had awesome boxes and packing stuff thanks to Allison and Weston too!

So we had a lot going on this weekend. I told Paul the other day that I think it's funny how we seem much busier now that I am pregnant and have less energy. But I wouldn't trade any of it.:)

So many changes....so little time......

2010-09-16T15:31:00.002-04:00

Well I have not blogged in quite a while. That is mostly because I have had some things going on that I was not ready to post on the blog yet. But now..it is time.

First of all...I am pregnant!!!! And even as I type that it still seems so weird to say. I have just entered the second trimester and things are looking good. I am hoping that the rumors are true and that the nausea and food aversions will get better. If you ask me, the worst part has been just not wanting foods that I used to love. I looked at Paul one day and said," I just can't wait to be excited about eating again."

Paul is so excited. He has already made up multiple nicknames for Baby K as we go along. We have heard the heart beat twice. And yes please notice that I said heart beat..singular. Everyone was wondering if it would be twins due to all the twins in the family..but so far just one!

The other big news is that we are moving! As of October we will be living in the Greenville area. I have taken a job with Greenville Mental Health and will be working in one of the schools there. For us, this was something we had discussed for a while and had talked about. I actually interviewed before knowing I was pregnant, so it all kinda happened at once. And yes it does seem like a whirlwind. In fact, i am not sure how I am going to get everything accomplished in the next two weeks or so...but I am going to do my best! Because it is official.

I will say ...be careful what you pray for. Because I remember praying in July and just feeling that I needed a change. And boy did God answer in big ways. Now we are moving and having a baby. But we could not be more excited and thankful.

So Greenville and parenthood...we here come!

Please......

2010-08-10T23:09:00.001-04:00

I know it has been a while since I have blogged....but I wanted to post this again. It is really close to my heart and I have read multiple accounts of the wonderful work they do. Please check it out and consider giving. Paul and I will be there on Sept. 18 walking for these girls who need help and realize that Jesus is the only way they can truly be healed.

http://www.runformercy.org/site/TR/Run/General?px=1040802&pg=personal&fr_id=1240

Check it out....

2010-07-02T10:36:00.000-04:00

The more things change.......

2010-06-29T21:30:00.002-04:00

the more things stay the same. So that is what they say. But I kept thinking it last night as I hung out with four of my sweet friends from Columbia. Two of these ladies were actually my roommates for most of my time there. All of them played a huge part in my life there and were such a great support system.

Since we have all been together we have all had such major life changes. People have traveled all over the world, big changes have happened. Yet I was so thankful that despite all that it felt like we never really missed a beat. We were able to sit and just catch up. We did not have to be entertained because we were all truly interested in just catching up on life.

And while many many changes have occurred. Some of the things, personality quirks, etc. have not changed at all. It is so great to have a group of friends that you know you can do that with. And in reality I am lucky to have several. But I am so thankful for the time, even though it was brief, to catch up before more big changes happen for us all.

Love you to all my Church at Dutch Fork girls....aka the "Single ladies"(my how that has changed) ...including those who were there in spirit:)

Adoption.

2010-06-20T00:06:00.001-04:00

Adoption has always stirred my heart. I am not sure exactly where it came from, but as long as I can remember I have had a desire to take hold of that charge to take care of those who cannot help themselves. I have been involved in some form or fashion with kids in DSS care who can't be with their parents since I was 18 and first volunteered at the children's shelter there. I have always known that I wanted to adopt at least one child. Please check out this article and think about what you can do.
Great Article on some very similiar thoughts I have on adoption.

Friends

2010-06-13T22:48:00.002-04:00

This weekend I was really fortunate. I got to see three very dear friends. All three were from my college days. But again I am amazed at how God orchestrates friendships and cultivates them and helps them to endure distance and life. I will never quite understand why things get awkward with some friends, but with others you can just pick right back up. These three ladies are the kinds of friends I have always been able to pick back up with. I have gone for long periods of time without talking to each of them at times. Yet each of them have been there for me when it has mattered and each time we have been able to pick right back up. I love these ladies and was so glad to see each of them. I love visiting and being in Charleston where people love to come visit.

Tonight I found this quote and it reminded me of the visits I had with these ladies this weekend:
"The best mirror is an old friend."
- George Herbert

This quote is true of those friendships. In being around them and reminscing, I am able to remember where I was in some of the most pivotal times in my life. I am able to see where God has lead and is leading. I am able to see how much I have grown and changed. In them, I remember great memories and hear current challenges, and see great futures for all of us. Ultimately I hope that in each of those relationships I am reflecting God and who He is in me. Old friends are great for reminding you of who you are and where you have come from.

I am thankful for each of the wonderful ladies I saw this weekend. I love each of you and thank you for being in my life all these years:)

Alex and Wallace

2010-06-01T22:21:00.002-04:00

This week the Kornahrens are in town and we got to meet Alex and Wallace for the first time. It was definitely an unexpected surprise as we thought we would not get to meet them until later in the summer. It was so good to see their sweet little faces..and what I am so excited about is that I get to see them more throughout the week. I definitely have the cutest niece and nephew in the world. And doesn't Paul look good with a baby in his arms? He did until she started crying and then he gave her back to me. Baby steps...baby steps:)

Cooper with Allison

2010-05-13T00:06:00.002-04:00

Somehow I missed the first email..but tonight I got a second email asking me if I wanted to buy my pictures from the Cooper River Bridge Run. But there are a few showing that Allison and I did it. And that we finished together:)Please note that face of determination I have.

Mother's Day weekend events

2010-05-10T22:16:00.003-04:00

Top picture: Jennifer, Me, Meredith, and Paul on her graduation night after dinner!
Bottom: Us at the Run for Your Mother Race.

Saturday was a busy day. It always seems like all the good things happen at the same time. There were several big things going on with several people I love on Saturday and I had to pick and choose which to attend. And I hate that. I have always wanted to be at everything for everyone...but I have learned...that is just not possible.

Amid all the exciting things going on, what I did end up doing was doing a race Saturday morning with Paul to raise money for stroke research. It was a last minute decision. I had seen the race called, "Run for Your Mother," but did not see what the cause was until the week before. It is run by the four children of a lady who sounds like a wonderful woman who died of a stroke. Well with the recent incident with my aunt having a stroke, I definitely wanted to participate.

So Paul and I did the race and renamed it, "Run for your Aunt." It was incredibly hot and miserable. We both had our worst times due to the heat and not being able to breathe because of the humidity. The guy who won the whole event said that his time was three minutes slower than normal. Man I would love to be able to run a 5k even at his slow time of 22 minutes. Even though it was his worse time, Paul still got a medal for first place for his age division.

That evening we met up with Meredith, Jennifer, and Uncle Mark to celebrate Meredith's graduation over dinner down town. Aunt Robin was not able to come but she was able to watch the graduation on the internet as it was streamed live. I was pretty amazed and thankful at that. I am also thankful and know God has continued to answer prayers for that entire family. Aunt Robin continues to progress. And Meredith has a job! She will be teaching 8th grade science at Moultrie Middle School. While we still may not understand why Aunt Robin had the stroke....you can see God's hand and provision in all of the aftermath. It is pretty good stuff.

Introducing.....

2010-05-03T00:30:00.002-04:00

Alexandra Boyer Kornahrens (on left) and Wallace Webb Kornahrens. They were born on April 22 and are over a week old now. I cannot wait to meet them! This is by far my favorite picture as you can already tell who the boss is. Alex is looking at Wallace saying, "What in the world is wrong with you? Stop that crying!" She was the first born of the twins and may just be taking on that leadership role.

Jacquelyn and Travis are doing well and are adjusting to these two new little precious ones. Since they have posted pictures now, I figured it was safe for me to do it now too. Didn't want to steal their thunder. I am so excited to be an aunt and cannot wait to see these two little Korns grow up.

Surprise Arrival!!

2010-04-22T20:34:00.003-04:00

Today my niece and nephew decided to come a little bit earlier than scheduled. Alexandra and Wallace were born today around 5:30 AM. It was so exciting to wake up to a text and voicemail saying that they had decided to make their arrival more than a week early.

In reflecting on this day, it is a neat coincidence that they were born on my grandaddy's birthday. My grandaddy was one of my favorite people and while he has been gone from us for over 4 years now, I think of him often. And it is an act of grace that God continues to bring beauty from ashes, and chose to bring new life today on the day that reminds me of someone not being around anymore.

Today is also the anniversary of the death of the father of one of my dear friends. I always remember this too since it was my grandfather's birthday. I think of her and while I never knew her father, I felt as if I did after hearing her talk about him. I sat in his chair many a time in our college apartment. And his picture often looked over us in her room as we had one of our many long conversations. I know he would be proud of her. He would be so impressed with the loving wife and mother that she has become.

I also think of friends today who are mourning as soon their due date is upon them and they will be grieving their son. I know these are hard days for them as well. They are incredibly strong, but that does not mean it will be any easier on them.

As long as I live, I will never understand why such important people have to be taken away from us. I know and believe wholeheartedly that God's ways are higher than ours. I have no doubt that He brings good out of the hurt and is with us during it. But that does not mean it doesn't suck!

But I am thankful to be reminded of his promises to be with the brokenhearted. I am also reminded of his promises to bring beauty from ashes and make garments of praise instead of mourning. And I am extremely thankful to have new family members to love on this day. I am so very thankful for my niece, Alexandra, and nephew, Wallace to remind me of how big and good God is. I cannot wait to meet them!!!

Please consider

2010-04-09T11:39:00.002-04:00

If you have read my blog for any length of time...you may find old posts that describe my passion and heart for Mercy Ministries. I still pray for an opportunity to be part of what they do each and every day. And here is one. Amazingly since I have started running, I can help do this now:) God really does know it all huh?

Run for Mercy Fundraising page

Please consider giving. This is a huge ministry that is free of costs to hundreds of girls struggling with so many different disorders. Here they get to come and feel the love and peace of God.

The picture is when I got to go visit the home in Nashville. It is one of the times I have been most moved in my life by the Holy Spirit. Please consider supporting this amazing cause as it truly changes lives.

Urgent Prayer Request

2010-04-05T21:37:00.002-04:00

Today I found out that my aunt Robin had a stroke last night. It is so crazy and surreal to me because we were just at her house yesterday afternoon. Paul and I were in Spartanburg for the weekend and made sure we were there for Easter this year since we were not last year.

I was looking forward to seeing my family and having the traditional Jello eggs that she always makes. Little did I know that hours after we all left she would suffer from a stroke. My heart was broken for her, my uncle, and my cousins today when my mom told me the news.

She has suffered from a stroke and as far as I know it is a kind of wait and see thing right now. She is able to recognize people but cannot speak. Please pray for her and a healing that only God is capable of. Please pray for strength for my uncle and wisdom in how to best help her. Please pray for a peace that surpasses all understanding for my cousins, who are 22 and 17. Pray for my grandparents who at this point cannot grasp the severity of the situation and have already lost one child when my dad died. Please pray for all of us as my aunt is very special to us.

I was reminded of this verse tonight and am clinging hard to it:
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

I also was moved by Shane and Shane tonight which happened to come about at the perfect time:

Be Near
by Shane Barnard

You are all
big and small
beautiful
and wonderful
to trust in grace through faith
but i'm asking to taste...

for dark is light to You
depths are height to You
far is near
but Lord, i need to hear from You

be near, oh God
be near, oh God of us
Your nearness is to us our good
be near, oh God
be near, oh God of us
Your nearness is to us our good, our good

Your fullness is mine
revelation divine
but, o, to taste
to know much more than a page
to feel Your embrace...

for dark is light to You
the depths are height to You
far is near, but Lord
i need to hear from You

be near, oh God
be near, oh God of us
Your nearness is to us our good
be near, oh God
be near, oh God of us
Your nearness is to us our good, our good

I was reminded of how big and powerful God is. Be near to all of us during this time Lord.

So sad......

2010-03-10T21:10:00.000-05:00

World Vision Workers Killed.

Walk for Water

2010-03-07T21:23:00.001-05:00

Please take a look at this website. It is a website that I have set up to fundraise for the Walk for Water on March 20. I am excited about the experience to walk 3.5 miles with a bucket of water. (Now I know that sounds crazy to be excited about that..but hear me out.)
It will give me a whole new perspective on how far the people in underdeveloped countries have to go and how hard they have to work to get water..and most of the time..it is not even clean.
Please consider giving...this money goes to help the people of Haiti to get clean water.

Erin's Fundraising Page

Lately.....

2010-03-02T23:49:00.002-05:00

I feel as if lots of things have been going on....and well regardless of who still reads this, I feel the need to update bullet style to help myself remember:

-I experienced my first snow in Charleston!
-My friend Jodi came to visit for the weekend.
-I have started helping with youth at our church.I realized how much I have missed it and seeing God work through youth
-I visited Paul in Biloxi.
-I have made it towards the home stretch and will soon have my husband back home!
-I have learned some major lessons lately about trust.
-Joce came to visit me and we did a race on Folley Beach together.
-I helped throw a baby shower for my sister in law and my future niece and nephew.
-I am beginning to help teach social skills at a local organization that tutors kids.
- I had my first Valentine's day without my husband since we have been married, but got some pretty amazing flowers.
- Marked the three year anniversary of our first date.
- Marked the two year anniversary of our engagement.

Ok well maybe it's not as much as I thought written down. But I have felt super busy lately again. I almost have the same feeling I had when I was in college and graduate school. I don't mind being busy, but I do miss the times of just being able to be still at time. I guess it's all about balance huh?

Come on.....

2010-02-09T23:46:00.001-05:00

Does anyone else think that this fortune should not be allowed in future fortune cookies in Charleston, SC?

I mean really....how about something I don't know.

Birds

2010-02-08T23:38:00.003-05:00

So if you know me well...you know there is one thing I am scared of....birds.
Don't ask why. There is no deep psychological reason. I mean I think a duck bit me when I was trying to feed it bread behind my grandparents house when I was little. Recently my mom told me a story of how my grandfather had a box with feathers in it and when I opened it, he scared me and attacked as if a buzzard was attacking me. But is that why I don't like them? Who knows?

But I think they are awful. I am pretty sure they are evil and hell is full of birds. Anyways I just don't like them. And many of you have seen me try to avoid them at all costs. It is to the point that I had to mentally prepare and pray throughout the trip to the zoo with the Epworth kids who wanted to go in the bird cage where they fly around and you could feed them. Normally I would not have gone, but if I had not the kids I was with could not have gone. But I was pretty afraid that they would hear Ms. Erin say a bad word if a bird came anywhere close to me.

Well a while back in one of my groups at CYDC we were talking about fears. And when I say a while back I mean it. It may have been a year or so ago. When no one would share their fears, I tried a little self-disclosure (as appropriate) and told the kidds that I did not like birds. They of course laughed at me and have not let me forget it. To this day one of the kids makes bird references and noises every week during group. This same lovely child drew me this picture today on a plate. Scary thing is....the picture is scarily accurate! And please note that my last name was changed from Kornahrens to Birdnahrens. Kids..they think they are so clever.

Love for Haiti

2010-02-07T22:40:00.001-05:00

I have been looking for ways to get involved and do something for the people of Haiti. My heart hurts for them and I am often reminded of my time in Indonesia as I read about them and see coverage of the devastation. While they are worlds apart, there are so many similiarities. Here is just one of the ways I have found to help.
Do it...spread the love.

http://www.setupevents.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=event_detail&eventID=1534